As we are preparing for our upcoming fall series, "The Forgotten Path" we began wondering:I bet everyone has traveled some path in their life either figuratively or literally that they wish they had never gone down.
Would you be willing to take a moment and share your "path I wish I'd never traveled" story with us below?
8 comments:
The path I wish I had never traveled has to do with my emotional health. I stubbornly denied that anything was wrong and for a very long time lived in self-denial damaging my family relationships. Finally, I agreed to see a doctor and began treatment that led me back to health. God has used my choice of paths to help me understand lives challenges more clearly, but my choice of paths has had lasting effects on my family. Choices have consequences-some good, some bad. My choice of paths was certainly a painful one not just for me, but for my family and others in my life. Definitely a path I wish I had never traveled.
I've walked a lot of thin ice in my time. Without fail, I always manage to fall through. At no time during my journeys on these paths did I plan to end up shaking and chilled to the bone. But looking back, it's pretty surprising that the way I was going, the bottom didn't drop out a lot sooner.
On actual snow-covered paths in the backcountry and on the darkest nights of my life - I've spent too much time shivering alone and desperately afraid. The same thought always twists through my mind...How did this happen? What could I have done different? There are always a hundred answers, none of them satisfying. If I had gone left instead of right...If I had just waited a little bit longer...or simply stopped sooner...If only I had been paying more attention...I shouldn't even have been there! They swirl through my brain while I am surrounded by cold, hard grey. There is no easy escape. No magic do-over switch.
The only way I am getting out, the only way there ever really is, is the way I got here in the first place - by putting one foot in front of the other.
It hurts. Oh God! Help me, it hurts! The pain compounded and multiplied by the shame of it all. I desperately want to disappear. Do I have to go back and face them? Explain to them that it happened again? Plead them not to give up on me yet?
I am learning. I've got the scar tissue to prove it. It is these wounds that have healed but will never fade away that remind me. Of the road I've traveled and of the place to which I will not return.
I will not forget that path. It is impossible and only a fool would try anyway. I am not a fool. Not anymore. No longer will I walk alone.
One of the paths I wish I never had traveled relates to my career. Coming out of college, rather than continue on my plan for further education that would lead me to a very specific field of work, I opted to put off my study and focus on my new marriage. I took a job right out of college that had nothing at all to do with my field of study and had no advancement opportunity. While that job offered me lots of flexibility which allowed my husband to pursue the career he dreamed of it was truly a dead end for my career. Looking back I wish I had handled that situation entirely differently. - L
When I got out on my own for the first time I developed really bad habits with my finances. I quickly mounted thousands in debt and lived without a budget of any sort. I'm now living with the consequences of this. Years later this still impacts me daily and keeps me from being able to do all the things I would like to do for my family. And while I've learned how to budget and am handling my finances more responsibly, I am behind in my long-term saving and this will have a permanent impact on my retirement. - Regretful Spender
This story was emailed in. Tim heard it while visiting the Grand Canyon:
Her name was Margaret Bradley. She had recently placed 31st in the Boston Marathon. She was in peak condition and a world class athlete. She and her boyfriend decided to run a trail (a very remote trail) in the Grand canyon on July 9th. They each took 1 liter of water and a few protein bars. They length of the run was to be 25 miles. They would soon realize they were ill-prepared for a walking hike let alone a marathon run.
The first mistake was they underestimated the length of the run (it was actually 27 miles). During the summer, much of the water runoff spots are dry in the canyon – another oversight. About 11 miles into the run, the couple realized the heat inside the canyon can be 120 degrees (40 degrees different than the rim up top). They were out of water. So they were dehydrated, hot, and tempers flared quickly. An argument ensued between the couple over the best course of action. Her boyfriend wanted to “shade-up” and wait until it get cooler and then hike back out of the canyon. Margaret, unfortunately did not agree.
She decided to try and hike to water (or to find help). She was following the trail and could see a dry drainage ditch (likely thinking it would lead to the river below) and decided to hike off the trail and take a short cut. She did not have a good map or she would have realized following the trail would have been the best course of action and it would have showed water stops. So she abandoned the trail, and dropped a number of feet down from a cliff onto a ledge as she made her way to the river. She quickly found herself on a second ledge that had a larger drop and there was no way she could survive the drop. She could not climb back up. She was stuck and she died at that spot of dehydration.
Her boyfriend stayed in the shade over 14 hours and hiked out once the temperature dropped. Whatever the argument, he never reported her missing to the rangers. Her body was not found for a couple days.
There were numerous mistakes that lead to her death – but overall it was doing the run on their own, not heading the advice of the park rangers and trail guides, and vastly underestimating the difficulties of their journey. In Boston she ran the marathon in a few hours – it takes over 4 hours to reach the bottom of the canyon (10 miles) alone.. and another 6 hours to get out.
The story is well documented at the canyon as an example of preparedness, safety decisions, and follow the designated paths. People die each year at the Canyon as they do things on their own, don’t pay attention to warning, stray from the paths, and are ill prepared for a journey. No matter your conditioning, (as example of the world class athlete above), if you do not prepare and follow the path accordingly, you are putting yourself in potential grave danger.
Tim
I can think of a few paths that I wish I wouldn't have traveled down. One of the biggest ones that come to mind is I wish I would have thought longer and harder about getting married when I did. I was too young and didn't understand what it takes to have a healthy marriage.
My life would have been very different if I would have taken that decision more serious.
Several come to mind but two biggies. I agree with the recent posts about finances. I remember a discussion with my spouse a few years ago about what to do for dinner. We decided to eat out because we had a brand new credit card with a $10,000 limit and this was just one meal. Yes, we're still paying off this credit card. No eating out for a long time and wow, do I wish we'd resisted harder on being led to temptation.
The second is with a family member, who was a teenager at the time. This person looked up to us and we were trying hard to keep her in church and on the right path. While you can't force anyone to do the right thing, she was young and had very little guidance in the rest of her life. She challenged us and being around her was stressful. Although I knew better on so many levels (spiritually, intellectually) - we gave up. She is still in our lives and she is not in a good place and has been away from God and the church for a long time. Every day, I wish we'd hung in there and tried a little longer.
I recently began regretting taking the path of least resistance. I looked back on my life of safe choices and self-preservation and began to crave something bigger, messier, and more important.
I asked myself this question, "Do I want my life to be good? Or, do I want my life to make an impact?" Sometimes these two work in tandem. Sometimes they don't. But when I'm gone only one will make a lasting difference on the generations that will follow me.
Our family chose to say goodbye to the path of safety and control and yes to the path of God-sized dreams and uncertainty. Its been the hardest and best thing we've ever done.
We can't predict our future no matter how hard we try. We can, however, trust God to fill us with the strength that carries eagles if we're willing to follow Him wherever He leads.
Its not always safe.
But its always worth it.
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